Horrors, Airbags, and Jerkknives

You can find the ever-growing list of “Better Than Nothing” items  over on the right. Read ’em, like ’em, share ’em, and comment.

Bag of Horror

Devan leaned on the couch, while the old priest eyeballed him suspiciously.

“I bet you never thought I’d make it this far, did you?  Into your inner sanctum. Into the heart of your… power?”

Devan playfully reached for the sack at his hip, while stretching langoriously against the pillows. He’s traded everything his former party owned (and they were more than wrathful, he heard, over the whole thing), but for this fabled dark magic–it was worth it.  He’d not yet tested it, but the crawling things inside beamed with arcane might.

He took a pinch in his hand… “beg for your life, Wallis.  Before I sick my pretties on you.”

He tossed a pinch casually to his left, expecting a deafening roar–but hearing not much more than a pop.  He wondered, as the old cleric’s frown grew fierce, whether he had been had afterall.

System: The idea here just being the the name implies so much more than it delivers. A bag where necromantic fireflies have been conjured to breed endlessly and so the little sack is always half full of tiny, glowing, moving little dead bugs. Using one’s “draw or stow”, you can pull out a handful of these little creatures and as a bonus action may toss them in front of you (range 5/10) and command them toward an enemy–they hit doing 1d4+1 fire damage. Dex save for half. Bag holds 3 handfuls, replenish full after long rest.

Plate of Guardium

“I’ll give you one free hit, Peele.  Make it count, because after that I’m going to come over there and twist your head around backwards” the low rumble of Wilkson’s voice reverberated from within the stout and unforgiving-looking armor. Many men had cowered back and away when he came to collect for the King, and there was always one fool who thought himself especially clever.

As Peele stared questioningly at the large man in the grey metal, he found in himself a well of courage few would have dared–clenching the long steel in his hand, he stepped and then walked and then ran, holding it overhead and bringing it crashing down on the fighter’s helmed head.

The sound was like an axe hitting an anvil as the sword screamed its ineffective defiance and Peele stared, terrified at what he’d just done.  Not a scratch.  Not rocked an inch.  This, truly, must be his death–his folly.

Inside the armor, Wilkson whispered a prayer and hoped nobody tried anything for a moment or two.

System:  Full Plate armor designed to protect the wearer further than normal armor in the event of overwhelming damage. In the event of taken damage greater than twice the PC’s class level, the armor thickens and stiffens, the lining swells and pads the body, the leathers thicken into rope-like cords, the metal becomes dense and hard and expands in thickness. The armor reduces the damage amount taken by twice the PC’s class level and PC has the grappled condition applied to him by the armor until the end of their next turn. Any attack while in this state, dex save dc half of damage taken to retain balance or apply prone condition until end of next turn.

Sword breaker Dagger

There was no lazier bastard of a con man than Hillicks Dale.  Neither was there a better man with a knife.  And while he dodged and weaved around the great brute’s slashes and thrusts, he delicately parried aside the shiny castle-forged blade–all the while thinking about dinner and whether the money would be good enough for chicken tonight.

The warrior swung hard and fast in an overhand chop, but Hillicks tapped it away with his knife.  He was tired, hopefully this wouldn’t last much longer.

As the fighter spun and arced his blade upward from a crouch, Hillicks tapped it higher and heard the satisfying crack that meant payday.

A blacksmith, carting some wares to a client, happened to pass by while the soldier stared at his broken blade and lamented how he’d no time to replace it. 

As he sped away down the back alley, before he could be spooted, Hillicks heard the smithy drawl on about how fortunate the timing was, as he’d had a surplus of these fine swords from only this morning and could let one go at a steal…

System: Wielder may use their reaction to parry an incoming attack with blinding magical accuracy. The dagger reduces incoming bludgeoning or slashing damage from non-magical weapons by 1d4+dex mod amount and imposes a -1 penalty to the weapon (or appendage’s) damage until a short rest. at -however much the damage dice are (so, at -4 for a dagger, -6 for a short sword, etc.), the weapon is uselessly damaged and broken. Each day, roll 1d12 for how many charges the dagger has.

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