Next to Godliness, A Night’s Rest, and The Right Tool

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The Short Supply of Lavishness

Brand hummed a tuneless old melody that he couldn’t have hoped to have placed or recalled where he’d picked it up–the sort of song that was lost to flat notes and rousing cups in any tavern on any night, but no less enthusiastic for all of that.

“We’re pulling out!  Hurry the shit up, for Pete’s sake!” 

He could hear Grier shouting in that piping voice of his and soundly ignored it.  Setting out on the trail a half hour early wouldn’t make any difference in the world, but a good pink scrub was positively divine.

Bathing twice a day was only civilized, afterall.

System: The Short Supply of Lavishness is one of the many common artifacts of the high elves of Tellene.  True to form, they represent a natural affinity for and almost wasteful disrespect for magic.  The Supply is a rosewood box, delicate looking and around the size of a two-handed loaf of trailbread. It smells like lemons and something a bit sweet.

Inside the box are a halfbar of a soft lavender soap, a silkwine kerchief, a shockingly tiny straight razor, and a dish and cover full of a white powder.  Opening the box allows one to rummage through and use the items however one wishes (the tiny razor maxes out at 1 slashing damage), however opening it while standing in at least one foot deep water causes the items to go to work on the opener.

The cover opens and the powder rolls lazily out of the dish, rolling up one’s arm and neck and flowing into one’s mouth (keeping one’s mouth closed can stop it).  The soap begins dipping into the water and both the bar and flowing streams of fresh water (no matter what the state of the water is naturally).  The water pours into one’s mouth, the powder works to a gritty froth; the suds aggressive scrub themselves into the skin; the water rinses and cleans.  The razor shaves clean any beard, mustache, or stray hair on one’s entire body below the eyebrows.  The process takes about 30 minutes and will ruin and damage clothes to the point of ruin (including any soft armor like leather or hide, including magical) if worn during this process.

Every two times the Supply is used (it replenishes and refreshes itself after a short rest), remove 1 exhaustion and take 1 inspiration.


It was bliss. Pure bright, flying bliss.  The coins scraped against Willis’s skin and scales.  He could feel the gems between his fingers and the bag of salt he had his left foot in tickled and made him almost purr.

The rest of his companions were sleeping in their tents or on their rolls–tossing and turning to get comfortable, and Willis found himself coming to and going, falling in and out of consciousness–dozing and grinning and dreaming of the sky.

1,201 Brandobian copper… 413 of that thick Kargi silver coinage… another 19 of the Pekalese silver with the old king’s face on it… 91 gold sovreigns… oh… oh, 92… mmmm…

Willis noticed when his friends woke up just before dawn. He noticed them packing and staring sideways at him.  He noticed them exchange annoyed glances.  He absolutely couldn’t have cared less… lazily, he eased up onto his feet, shaking off the tiny rubies in his hair carefully and started scooping the treasure back into his bag.

The warm air seemed to melt away as the brisk autumn morning breezed through camp.

System: The scholarly and sage of the great academies think Hoardstones are a product of some digestive or naturalistic alchemical affinity incubated in the stomach of dragons.  In truth, they are the infused and warped pieces of volcanic rock found closest to a dragon’s lair–bathed for decades in the river of arcane connection between the creature and its haven.  They most often resemble jagged pieces of dark glass or obsidian, though some look more worn and smooth–all, however, feel aberrant to anyone not a sorcerer or a dragon born.

By themselves Hoardstones do nothing.  But, when three of them are placed on the ground or a reasonably flat surface and covered in treasure–precious metals, magic artifacts, gems, fine artisanal creations, etc. they remember where they come from and the legacy of their former master.

Any sorcerer or dragon born that sleeps on a pile of wealth sufficient to cover a contiguous majority of a 5′ x 10′ space (with the stones in roughly equal corners) may benefits from a long rest flawlessly regardless other environmental conditions–blizzards, desert suns, etc.  The hoard must be uncovered to the open air (not in a tent or hut or other space), if in a room, all openings to the room must be open.

Any sorcerer, however, with the Draconic Bloodline archetype or that is, themselves, also dragon born (both), may get the benefits of a long rest by laying on their hoard but do not need to sleep or “meditate” to gain them (though they are disadvantaged on Perception during this time).  Also, they may use a Minor Lair Action from the list below while taking a long rest on their hoard:

  1. Green Envy – while resting, the hoarder senses any mind in a 120 ft. radius that thinks of stealing from him or her. This persists only so long as the creature is thinking of it specifically. This will yield occasional “alerts” from friendlies, unless they are sleeping or unconscious, or succeed in an INT save DC the hoarders spell or breath weapon DC (whichever is higher) to “not think of it”.
  2. Knowing – while resting, the hoarder learns the properties and value of all the items in their hoard as though they had cast identify. This includes revealing that an item is cursed–though not what the curse is.
  3. Eerie Warning – while resting, the hoarder may extend his own draconic heritage to the environment around them more directly. If their heritage is a White Dragon (or otherwise uses cold damage), the immediate area (60ft. radius) grows cold enough a man would see his breath and enough to form small icicles on hanging surfaces; if red (or fiery), the air grows warm and dry, grass browns and small spring like steam rises from rocks; if black (or acidic), the ground grows soft, moss appears on surfaces, the air is murky and smells foul; etc. The effect is disquieting, may require allies sleeping near to protect themselves against elements, and has the effect of disadvantaging all creatures in the area on Wisdom saves versus being frightened or charmed (exempting any number of creatures the hoarder wants).

Rotool of the Fletch Sender

Hildie watched them have at the door.  Legs crossed, sitting demurely, trying not to laugh and hurt their bruised ego.

Sir Manus pounded at the door with his warhammer, scuffing and then denting the haft, cursing in that prudish way he had; the Bitterbalt twins tried shoving, then incanting, and eventually just blasted it with fire in a futile attempt to burn it down (centuries old, four inch thick oak is not so easily dismissed).  Even the Scrimmage-of-Power (their lofty and pretentious wizard) found his incantations to be less than sufficient…

She let them take the time, watched them fail and eventually when they all gave up and looked to her for help, she let them have it.

Standing up, and pulling the Rotool from her pack, the tiny Rogue elbowed them all out of the way.  “Next time you guys want to make fun of my kit, remember… none of you know anything about doors.”  A slam of the metal rod, a crack, and the oaken door broke wide open to the frustration of most of the crowd.

System: The Rotool is one of the cleverest inventions of the Halfling engineer Fletch Maninhollersendingwool.  A complexly enchanted tool (taking several years to finalize) it’s rare to see them outside of Halfling high-adventuring delvers.

Resembling a small crossbow, without a bowstring and with a flared flat stock, it is a slotted and painstakingly runed crossbeam of adamantine weighing some 25 lbs. It requires its own tool proficiency. The rotool can serve as a pick (advantage on smashing rocks or breaking down walls), shovel (digging earth), crowbar, chisel, pile, grapple, and brace (able to brace a doorjam with crossbeams up to 5′ wide extending from the arms of the rotool)… as with specific command words known to the attuned owner, the metal shapes and rebalances itself for the task.

When wielding it for any of these tasks, or related ones, the owner’s strength is considered 22 for the purposes of the relevant Athletics rolls, and is advantaged.


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